I’m a Stranger
I live in a place where every stranger says ‘good morning.’ You see this typically along beaches and bike pathways, less so, or not at all really, in stores of any sort. In fact, even at the bar, no one says a thing to me, a place where long ago, we used to congregate. Maybe in America, we don’t care much for ‘good evening.’ There’s one path in particular that I go to nearly every day that’s full of pedestrians, bikers, and dog walkers. This last group, while friendly enough, can be a nuisance as many of them assume that all individuals like dogs. I’m not opposed to dogs but I don’t love dog walkers that make this assumption. What it typically means is that they’ll allow their dog to sniff, lick, and jump on strangers. And I’m a stranger.
It’s raining currently as it does most days here in summer. You can see the heavy clouds threatening from quite a distance (there’s never a mountain nor skyscraper to block your view). It begins with a sprinkle and then somehow, you’re still surprised by the near-monsoon that follows, forcing you indoors. Occasionally, the indoors are not available and a beachgoer will be unfortunately struck by lightning. It can’t be an easy way to go but then again, what is?
Of those mornings, when I can’t seem to reciprocate the ‘good morning,’ I’m shown the worst of myself. After almost thirty years of self-work, I have no better outlook of “other” than when I began. I’ve determined then that instead of self-growth, there will be some form of self-acceptance. There will be no more pushing against self but rather, adjustments made based on who I am rather than forcing change that will never come.
Speaking of changes, I’ve been on a drink break recently, a month now, to break the habit of turning to an evening reward in hopes that all other times will be rewarding enough on their own. It works every time, however, I do often wonder what is lost even when so much is gained. While there’s a confidence earned, conviviality is lost. The positive is that life feels even and there is plenty of time for reading, napping, and projects. The negative is that it can feel flat, at least socially. Depending on how you’re feeling, there’s a tendency to look at it from one of those perspectives.
It’s the trend these days not to drink and understandably so. John Mayer cited a six-day hangover. Bill Burr was sneaking an extra drink in at the end of the night. Tom Holland was anxious or something and created Bero. Mark Manson drank all of the tequila there was. Josh Brolin kept waking in the bushes (or was it jail?). I just wanted to sleep a bit better, which is one of the many benefits you’ll know if you’ve ever taken a break. Any of the infinite drinking-related subs on Reddit will provide an exhaustive list of perks. Everyone seems to be enjoying great skin, sleeping like a teenager, and living their best lives full of kale smoothies and ice baths. No one mentions really any of the nicotine pouches, edibles, psychedelics, Celsius drinks, vaping, nor social media they’ve most likely swapped the drink out with but that’s just fine. Twenty years ago, we didn’t have all of those distractions so we drank and then we drank some more. I don’t recall a single friend ever thinking of taking significant time off in those days. But we were young and times have changed.
I’m usually limited in my knowledge of Millennial and/or Zoomer trends. I mostly interact with Boomers and Alphas and they’re either much too young or too old to care about fads of any kind. Of the former, here in Naples at least, a morning salutation is in vogue. And the latter, well, they’re too locked into Roblox to even notice you’ve entered the room. To them, I remain mostly a stranger.